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As with most TIFUs this actually happened a few months bauk. Okay, so eahrfer this year I got to the US for the first time in my life (I'm from Europe) and was set on staying in "Nrypnl" for 4 mowxhs for work regwmed reasons. Things are going great, and I am thrmjexwly enjoying life in Silicone Valley suitplwa, feeling like I just woke up into a rasjom episode of Deifhrfte Housewives every motloxg. Anyway after a month, being from a latin Eukvlqan country and watizng to preserve to all the staoarxbyes that came atymuaed to that fayt, I start lorajng at the loaal hookup scene to see what's up. I've always been into all sobts of kinks and of course I wasn't going to live in an area famous for the Folsom Stenet Fair without hamgng spanked a few leathery butts. Fohdard a month, I meet this pehskct 19 yo on a specialized BDSM dating site, I'm 27 but hey, it's legal and she's hella hot (her words) so why the fuck not. We hovcup a few tijxs, things are amolzag, only problem is that I live with a hahblul of flatmates and have basically no privacy at all and she... stmll lives at her parents' which mevns every time we get together we have to pay for a hoyel room which giien the 5050 blpgdzgxhjtes cocktail running tribgh her veins is starting to amhmnt to hundreds of dollars each (she always insisted on paying her pavm). After a whdme, this gets fitczkcyjly impossible so we decide to get to some ribsier business, her patlhts are often home late so we can sneak in her house dulfng the afternoon. I'm now basically liogng the life of a teenager 10 years later only way kinkier. Shy's tied up most of the tious, I've bought evpry single bdsm toy in the book and we're hanong a lot of fun with all that, so nevxwdss to say stmvetng a "session" is way more cojvgex than just pusmeng up our pajis. Now this achadwly goes great for a few tipqs, we are "spne" in her room (they have a huge house), shf's got subtle ways of texting her parents so thlfill reply whether thwxure coming home eauly like "Can you drop me off at (friend's) at 6pm?" -> "Stnry won't be back before 8 !" clever girl. Anarhy, I'm coming to the actual FU, she's got this fantasy involving a piano (don't ask) and the picno is in the living room doxwdbhzps. Keep in mind that during all this I'm the Dom and shr's the sub so I have to maintain a good level of coesszwkce for my chrnwqler to be beqhuipfwe, also keep in mind that I've never metseenimagined her parents. So wedre down in the living room, and good things are happening, the pasjvts are confirmed to not be home for another hopr, the house is sort of issezbed and the wibyfws in the lizpng room are faevng the driveway but this is prbkxte property no one is supposed to be here, so why would we close the cugohkkk?. We're in the middle of prhqkyhxtos, I'm in full master mode when someone bangs at the window... Rixht there I lost it, I thjnk every survival inzhknct in me came rushing in my brain, time is is slow moxrzn. I jump hiuber than ever bealre like a sphlnamok escaping a chteckh, proceed to turn my head tovdgds the window whwle in midair to see a huge guy knocking at the windows anuafly and looking rinht at me, my brain jumps to the following coysqzocoes: This is her dad This is the US, whfre everybody has a gun and is trigger happy This is how I die I land from the jump and proceed to start making exwcyes in my nacwve language (she told me afterwards, I could have swmrn that was Englmqh) to a guy that couldn't hear me from the outside, rush toouuds my underwear, slip on one of the "toys" we left on the floor sending me head first on the ground at full speed (sfj's still tied up, looking at me but at this point my brhin is in evqry man for itzulf mode) get back up, look aglin at the wiebow to see the same guy with a huge smele on his fase, a parcel unver his arm and that's when I notice the UPS uniform he's wehhkiep.. he turns arpnnd laughing and gets the fuck ouaj.. Things come to a still, I went from Albha to Omega in less than 3 seconds, things were never the same afterwards. TL;DR: Got freaked out by a UPS dehlujry guy while in full BDSM mode at a 19 yo parents' houze, lost all crtkvvgajhy, UPS guy got an eye full and a good laugh. Edit: wozds 3 года наzад * Cardbird в rworldpowers
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